pain throws your heart to the ground
love turns the whole thing around
I know it won't all go the way it should,
but I know the heart of life is good.

Sometimes song lyrics are so true it's ridiculous.

This isn't cut and dry, there is no great divide.
There's only you and I tonight.
Wish I could read your mind, so scared of the truths I'll find,
but I know I've reached the bottom line.

How do I know of your intentions, how do I make you see?
You see, I know your stories and all the songs you've played for me.
Oh I once was lost but, how did you find me and make me see?
See that I put you on a pedestal, won't you come back down to me?

You know I've been so downhearted, you know I've been so unsure.
For lack of a better word I need you more and more.
Hold me, love me, I need your warm embrace.
Don't waste another day.

i just had to get that off my chest.
anyway, I filmed a slasher film where I was the victim today. it was surprisingly fun.

my pentax 35mm camera.

So among the plethora of things my parents crammed into the trunk of my car was my dad's old 35mm Pentax camera that I used last semester in my Beginning Photography class. I'm pretty excited about it, because I casually mentioned it to him while he was packing the car, but I never thought he'd actually part with it. I mean, he hasn't used it in forever, and I've always been fascinated by it before I even knew how to use it. Well, to make a long story short, he gave it to me. I'm so excited. I have one roll of film left from my photog class, so I'm pretty excited about putting it to use. Even though I won't have a dark room to play around with developing the pictures, it'll still be fun to start using the camera again... especially because my digital camera broke before I left California. I'm definitely looking for a solid digital camera to put on my christmas list... got any ideas? Anywho, my scarf is coming along quite nicely, and I think I'm going to go for a quick walk up the redic. hill behind my house. The things I find to do when trying to conserve gas...
Oh, and Carly, I started reading Velvet Elvis last night... I'm really looking forward to it.
I also need to figure out what I'm sending all my girls at Vanguard. It has to be creative.
wish me luck until next time...

crocheting, late walks, and football games.

Last night before I went to bed, I decided to start crocheting again. At 5am... so now I'm working on a brown and blue scarf for my friend's birthday this coming week. I'm hoping I'll be able to make it down to see her, which is the plan, but the lack of gas in the area could be a big problem... so we'll see how that goes. I really enjoy crocheting. It's so consistent. You can just stare at it for so long, and make such intricate stitches, and I don't get bored at all. It's like reading a really good book. I don't know why, but I really enjoy intricate labor intensive things. haha. Anywho, currently I'm at my friend Madelyn's house on her computer getting nice and cozy after our hour walk. It was nice because it was at night, and we took her sweet dog. It's so nice to be around dogs again... they just have an ability to make your day that much brighter just by existing in it. I was going to watch the Georgia v. Alabama football game this evening... and hopefully with a certain someone, but plans changed, and now Madelyn and I are watching the Grey's episode we missed. I still have to catch up on Heroes last week... I'm not sure I can keep up with all these shows without the convenience of DVR or TiVo. alas...
I'm trying not to lose my head these days. My heart seems to be taking over.
until next time...

much ado about nothing

there is no gas...
anywhere.
boo.
i still have 3/4 of a tank, so we'll see how far that goes.
My friend Kayd is going to fix my radiator tomorrow afternoon, so that will be good. Apparently Sport needs a little TLC. Tomorrow evening, I'm dog sitting at Erin's house this weekend while they're out of town, and next week I'm going to Athens for Barb's bday. I'm pretty excited about being busy, but it's a little scary not having lots of money and lots of gas.
I'm deliriously tired... I'm running on three hours of sleep, and I had a very busy day.

this is the song you need to sing to me:

No i'm not the man i used to be lately
see you met me at an interesting time
if my past is any sign of your future
you should be warned before i let you inside

hold on to whatever you find baby
hold on to whatever will get you through
hold on to whatever you find baby
i don't trust myself with loving you

i will beg my way into your garden
i will break my way out when it rains
just to get back to the place where i started
so i can watch you back all over again

hold on to whatever you find baby
hold on to whatever will get you through
hold on to whatever you find baby
i don't trust myself with loving you

John Mayer

Tommy Emmanuel and Anthony Snape

Look them up.
Mom and Dad went to their concert (Anthony opened for Tommy) night before last, and they both agreed it was the best and most entertaining concert they'd ever been to. I looked them up on youtube, and was amazed by Tommy's guitar playing. Apparently he was one of the first (if not the first) guitar players to play percussion rhythms on the guitar. He also has probably the most full and rich tone I've ever heard a guitar produce. Simply incredible. Anthony Snape is an up and comer from Australia, who's just starting to get recognized in the U.S. His guitar skills don't match up to Tommy's (I'm sure not many do), but he has a pretty unbelievable voice. I was pretty blown away. Anyway, look them up, be amazed, and enjoy.

P.s. Erin came home from visiting family in Kansas today, and I picked her up from the airport. It's so good having her back... and having a car. I think this is going to be a good week. Much to do, for certain, but that's how I roll.
until next time.

"i'm not that dirty..."

so I have a great story to tell.
Background: I finally got Sport this morning! I'm so excited.
Plot: My friend Kayd, a mechanic, came with me to get my car, and after following me back to the house, he was driving me back to the car I'm borrowing for the weekend. My mom called to see how everything went, and she said, "How does Sport look?", and I said, "Well, he's really dirty right now, but other than that he's fine."... at that moment, I noticed Kayd self consciously looking around at his clothes, arms, etc. and then he utters the best line ever... "Hey, I'm not that dirty yet."
hahahahaha
I almost peed my pants. He obviously had no idea that I refer to my car as a he, or that he even has a name. I quickly corrected him, and tried not to laugh too much. needless to say, he was quite embarrased. bahaha.

so in other news, I woke up at 6:30am this morning... which is always bad... and dropped the girls off at school. then i had to get their grandmother ready for the day and take her to the senior center. picked up sport, shuttled cars, took a nap, checked on g-ma, picked up girls, took to dance (30 minute drive back and forth twice), got dinner (twice), helped girls with homework, watched a movie, sent girls to bed, and now i'm having to spend another night with them because their parents won't get back until about 2am. brilliant.

tomorrow I'll see if my blood has enough iron in it to donate, unpack my fully stuffed trunk, and then pick erin up from the airport. i'm pretty excited. it's wierd going from being completely deserted and trapped in my home, to missing being there and seeing my roommates. i've been non stop all weekend!

but i'm racking up a little dough, so what can i say.... except,
until next time.

baby hats and breaking dawn

Today, I had a plan. I was going to wake up early so I could get laundry done, do dishes, etc before I had to be picked up to babysit for a couple of days. Of coarse I woke up 20 minutes before I was supposed to be picked up instead... so I threw a bag of things together, washed up, and didn't even have time to eat breakfast. Thankfully the family I'm sitting for was making french toast for lunch, so it all worked out. After the family left, I crochet'd two little newborn baby hats for my sister's baby to be. Since she hasn't even had her first ultrasound yet, I thought I'd be safe and make a brown and pink one, and a blue and brown one... even though we're all hoping for a little Owen Thomas Hamilton. Cute name right? (I'm responsible for the Owen, which I'm quite proud of). I also got a little bit if Breaking Dawn time in again... my goal is to have it finished before I pick Erin up at the airport Tuesday. My other goal is to have my freaking car before then... yep. It's still not here. I'm about to kill those guys. Other than making dinner, it was a pretty slow day. We watched two movies, crochet'd, and had fun. Tomorrow however is going to be interesting... mostly because in no way am I a morning person. I have wake the girls up at 6:30am, have them to school by 8am, give their grandma her meds and take her to the senior center by 9am, pick the girls up by 3pm, take rachel to dance at 4, go back and get charlotte for dance at 7, but drop her off 30 min early so i can pick rachel up 30 minutes late, feed them, help with homework, etc. Should be interesting...
wish me luck, until next time.

grocery list: waterproof mascara

note to self: never watch Steel Magnolias for the first time while you're alone in your house and you forgot you're wearing mascara. such a bad combination. i realize now why my eyes were stinging so badly during my sob-fest... they had chemicals in them (aka mascara). i'm such a genius. needless to say, i had a good cry, loved the movie, and fixed a messed up candle (slash played with the wax.)

sport update: the truck carrying sport was stuck in mississippi with engine trouble, but was supposed to be back on the road by noon today. according to the guy yesterday, the driver should be in georgia by now, and should be calling me very early in the morning to plan a time to meet up. all i have to say is, if i don't have my car by tomorrow, i'm going to have to bust a cap in the first person i deem responsible.

weekend update: (not snl style)
i woke up today and got ready with the sole purpose of babysitting all day. that's such a bad feeling. waking up knowing you're going to spend the rest of your day with a sassy 8 year old. well, that's what i did. we watched a disney movie, disney chanel tv shows, i watched her jump on the trampoline, made dinner, and then watched "camp rock" with her. (as to be expected, she's obsessed with the jobros and has seen them in concert). the highlight of the day was having some quality breaking dawn re-reading time. oh, and i got paid basically $5 an hr... such a jip. unfortunately it's a family friend. so what are you going to do.
the rest of my weekend and monday will be spent babysitting another family friend's children while they take their older child to visit the Auburn campus. i'm sure i'll be underpaid again, but at least i'll have a car to drive around. tuesday i'll be picking up erin from the airport. i can't wait for her to come home. i've been so bored all week!

last thing: all night, i've been hearing a small plastic sounding "clink clink" from the direction of my roommate emily's room. it's been freaking me out secretly, because i'm the only one here. i played scenarios through my mind (robber, emily who secretly came back, etc), and suddenly i remembered that she has a very old hamster in a tank against the wall. i'm sure that's what is causing the sound, but emily's door is shut, and i'm too much of a chicken to open it... i mean, what if it is a robber?

until next time...

ode to sport

My dearest sport I miss you so
How many miles more must you go?
Arriving safely in my arms
You do not come with car alarms.

You've traveled far, you've traveled wide
Pretty soon, in you I'll ride.
The stupid car man bringing you
Is causing me to feel so blue.

It's been two months since our last embrace
My heart's had a hole with a car sized place.
I'll see you soon, I know for sure
I'll hug and kiss your tan car door.

tell me...

what you want me to think.
you could lead me to water,
you can make me drink.
I trust you if you say it's good.
You wouldn't hurt me
and I don't think you could.
-Chris Thile

I love feeling giddy. It's one of the truest and most raw emotions. I love it when you can hear the smile in my voice, and I love it when thinking of you causes said reactions.
You make my head spin.
and I wouldn't have it any other way.

photoshop fun

so here are a few pictures I played around with for the majority of my day today. I'm pretty pleased with how they turned out, especially considering this was my first time really editing photos that weren't from a 35mm camera in a dark room. :)

I'm expecting...

No, not a baby silly. My car Sport should be gracing the east coast with his presence hopefully by tomorrow afternoon. I am desperately awaiting his arrival, as he has been my closest companion and most trusted male confidant for the past 4 years. He will be arriving with a newly patched front left tire, which I'm quite certain he's very thrilled about, and a trunk-o-stuff for me to distribute throughout my lovely abode. Sadly, he will be "sporting" a california tag that expires this month... so that could be potentially problematic, but other than that, he and I will both be generally overjoyed to see eachother again. My only hope is that the delivery man decides to come before 2:30 or after 7pm, as I will be working between those hours. If Sport hasn't arrived before I have to work, I'll most likely call my boss and tell them I can't come just so I'll be prepared to meet Sport at the drivers earliest convenience. Needless to say, I'm quite excited. :)

In other news, I rented "Smart People" last night and watched it today at mi casa. Unfortunately I was quite dissapointed with the movie all together. It wasn't able to capture or hold my attention in any sense of the word, but I felt better that I only paid $1 to watch it via "Red Box Movies" at WalMart (the greatest invention in movie rental history). The only catch is that you have to return the movie by 9pm the following day or you will be charged for another day's rental... that's where they getcha. So my friend Madelyn took me to a bible study tonight, and afterwards I requested to stop by W.M. to return said boring film. Much to my dismay, by the time we reached the store, it was already 9:20, so I was charged $2 whole dollars to watch one of my least favorite films of all time.

Needless to say, if it weren't for the laughter I shared with my roommates after being taken home, this day would have been a total bust. haha.

Until next time...

p.s.

One of the things going on at Chik-fil-A was face painting. Charlotte, one of the girls I was watching, got a tear drop painted under her right eye... it was her idea, but I encouraged her. haha. oops.

In the beginning...

There was a blog.
haha.
So, I finally gave in and made my own blog. I'm looking forward to sharing my thoughts, ideas, jokes, and ramblings with any who care to listen.
So, here goes nothing.

Today was almost as uneventful as yesterday. You never realize how important a mode of transportation is until you don't have one. I thought my car would be here much sooner, and now it seems it will be conflicting with my work schedule. I'm paying $1050 dollars to have my car shipped to Georgia from California, and it was supposed to be here by tomorrow afternoon. But as most things in life go, it won't be here until thursday or friday... which just happens to be the two days I'm working at Steamers (the cute coffee shop I got hired at).
So now, not only do I have to wait longer to get my car, I have to possibly call off work the first week I'm working to make sure I'm available to pick up my car at "the driver's convenience." What about my convenience? haha.

So because of all this, and the fact that my best friend (and mode of transportation) left for Kansas for a week, I'm basically a prisoner of my own home; and if you know me at all, you know I like to keep busy and keep doing things.

Anyway, the one thing I was able to do today was get picked up by my friends mom and taken to Chik-fil-A to watch her two kids play and eat. And this weekend I'll actually be babysitting Saturday, Sunday, and Monday... so hopefully these are the last few days of my imprisonment.

Until next time...