what am i doing

with my life these days? not a whole lot. yesterday, i didn't leave the house all day. it was kinda nice, but kinda not at the same time. i only work thursday and friday nights. i did have a job at gymboree, but i worked there for two days and hated it so bad that i quit... but i thought i was going to hear back from eddie bauer before now. sadly, i was mistaken. i still havn't heard anything from eddie, and i could have been suffering/making money at gymboree this whole week. because of that, i'm short on money. so that limits the number of things i can do... like go to my friend's 21st bday party tomorrow night in athens. everything i'm writing right now is really random, because i've been so distracted that i've had this window open for about an hour. haha. in other news... i think i've been living vicariously through movies and books lately. i should start doing things for me. also, i'm going to exercise more. i'm tired of looking like this. and i really need to start calling my family more. i havn't talked to anyone but my immediate family in a month or so... and i don't even talk to my immediate family as much as i probably should. i just get so wrapped up in living here. i need to have more perspective and look at the big picture more often. lastly, i still havn't talked to him. i put myself out there, and he asked me to wait until he had time to talk... but i'm starting to think that i'm going to have to be the first to say something again. i hate this. as jennifer said today while watching Sleeping Beauty, "you know, it would be nice to just get the fairy tale..."
until next time friend...

wow weekend...

Micah's homecoming king, and the girl we wanted to win won.
The football team won the homecoming game in the last 7 seconds by one point.
My roommates had a party that I didn't partake in, but experienced.
Zak, Patrick, and their friend played on the square during Gold Rush.
Oh yeah, and Gold Rush blocked off half the town.
I worked at Gymboree.
Then I quit Gymboree.
Then my friends got mad at me for quitting.
I stayed up making halloween crafts with chelsea.
I missed church for the um-teenth time.
I went to Gold Rush/hung out at Zak's house.
Picked out a cute mint green pumpkin at Burt's Pumpkin Farm.
Took lots of pictures.
And finally ate dinner with friends in Dawsonville.
oh, and I have a job interview at Eddie Bauer tomorrow. Please Pray.
Craazy weekend. crazy good, and crazy bad.
Crazy none the less.

AND I did the one thing I never thought I would do... I wrote him a letter... just now.

shaking violently until next time...

Gymboree

I got a job at Gymboree the other day... hooray! I'm working 32 hrs next week. I'm pretty excited about it. I havn't been keeping up with my blog lately. Whoops. I guess there hasn't been a whole lot going on here lately, and by the time I think about this, I'm about ready to pass out. As we speak, I'm finishing posting some pictures that I've been editing while watching the Presidential Debate tonight. I'll put one or two up for you in a second. Speaking of the Presidential Debate... is there any other candidate that would like to stand up and run real quick? Honestly, I don't really want Obama OR McCain to be the next president, but if I'm forced to chose, I like Obama a whole lot less. McCain isn't my favorite Republican, but I feel like Obama is making empty promises left and right... and I know for a fact that socializing health care is going to be bad. The weird thing to me is that so many people in Hollywood are supporting Obama. Don't they realize that they're going to have the crap taxed out of them? I'm pretty sure movie stars make more than 200,000 a year. Just a guess. Anywho, this weekend and next week are going to be pretty crazy for me. I'm excited. :) Friday is the Homecoming Football game (Micah's on the court, and will hopefully have his boot off in time to play.) Saturday and Sunday are Gold Rush. Sat Zak's playing at 3pm, and then I'm finishing my training at Gymboree. Sunday hopefully I'll have more time at G.R. and then work again. All next week is work work work. Wednesday's my only day off. Lets hope I find something good to do. Here's some of my favorite pics.





Reeling until next time...

lucky

When I think about my life, I have to acknowledge the fact that I've been extremely lucky. Even though I've moved all over the place, I've still maintained life long friendships and made many new ones. Even though my family's never had an exorbitant amount of money, they always found a way to put presents under the tree and allow us to live more comfortably than some. Even though I made a D in math my senior year and never finished my foreign language requirement (which would have permitted me from going to a california state school), I was blessed with the opportunity to go to a private Christian university for 1 1/2 years. Even though I've never been in a relationship, I've been lucky enough to never have had my heart broken. Even though several people close to me have died, I've never lost a direct member of my family. The list goes on and on. I know so many people who have experienced pain that I might not ever know, and I feel so blessed by that fact... but it also makes me feel guilty that I don't do more with my time. Since I moved back to Georgia, I've accomplished very little. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm not in school right now, and I didn't have my car here for a month, but there's still so much more I could do. I'm very picky about where I work, and I could probably be working at Wal-Mart right now, but instead, I'm still looking for one that's "good enough" for me. There's something very wrong with that point of view. Thankfully, I had a job interview today, and I have two more later this week... so hopefully I'll be back to being happily busy soon. It will be good for me to get back on a normal schedule. These days I've become pretty nocturnal. The other thing that's made me so uneasy is a guy. I've known him for half of my life, and I didn't appreciate him before... but now, I'm being payed back by feeling restless all the time. I've had him on such a high pedestal for so long, that it's impossible not to like him since I see him so often. We have so much in common, and I feel like we could talk for hours. I love being the cause of the smile on his face, and I love when his music brings a smile to mine. If only I could get the nerve up to see where he stands.
Restless until next time...

dinner and a movie

So today was a pretty low key day. I slept through church, because i've been getting sick lately, and i needed to sleep in... then i watched tv, sat around, and did the dishes. my roommates showed up right about the time that i got a phone call from erin to hang out... oh, and today was my dad's 55th birthday, and i TOTALLY forgot about it until my mom called. oops. i was able to recover by calling and singing happy birthday and saying my card "wasn't in the mail yet." haha. sorry fahj. 

Dinner was good. I hadn't been to Ruby Tuesday's in forever, and it was fun to eat with Lindsay and Erin. We also had a hot waiter named "Van", and he basically answered our every becon. haha. Erin, who doesn't know how to talk to guys without flirting, sure buttered him up as well. We went to see Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, and I really liked it alot. Michael Cera is so loveably awkward. haha. 

I love music. It gives me hope, fills me with joy, and makes me sing!

Movies who are about people who fall in love through music give me hope...

until next time...

girl night

no, not girlS night. just me. sitting on my couch in my cold house watching t.v. well, i started watching tv, but then the notebook was on, and obviously you can't turn that down, but i was tired of watching the commercials in between. so what did i do? put the movie on of coarse. now that the movie's over, i was flipping through the channels again, and stopped on project runway. but after the last 5 minutes of the episode played, what was on Bravo? Tristian & Isolde of coarse. Apparently God decided to play a cruel joke on me this evening. I got off work at 5:3opm, and who was there to hang out with? Erin- at work, Maddie-camping, Zak- sicker than me, Roommates- gone for the weekend as usual, Barb & Jeff- at a wedding. who does that leave? oh yeah, me sitting on a couch by myself watching movies that make me even more sad about the state of my love life. haha. the worst part? i'm not changing the channel because i like the movie too much. see my problem?

things i could have/should have been doing tonight: laundry, dishes, general cleaning of the house, buying groceries, filling out more job applications, reading a book, crocheting, writing music, working out, etc.

a funny quote i just heard on tv: "how can your solemate fall in love with you when there are 6 million single women on facebook." haha

on a sad note, my sister Candice had a miscarriage yesterday. She was 10 weeks along. She's pretty upset, but relying on God.

on another note, i found this video on youtube, and i think it's wonderful. VOTE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhDRVKDcXQo

until next time friend...

please pray

For my sister Candice and her little baby inside of her. She's supposed to be 10 weeks along, and she started bleeding today. She went to the ER, and after hours of waiting, an ultrasound showed a 6 wk. old fetus with a weak heart beat around 34bpm (should be in high 70's). She doesn't know anything for sure right now, but she's really upset and worried. Unfortunately, she lives in West Virginia, so my family won't be able to comfort her in person as I'm in Georgia and the rest of the fam is in California. She and her husband Tommy have a 22month old (Caroline), and they were so excited to further expand their family. Please keep them in your prayers. Thanks.

And for more bad news to brighten your day, dear reader, I regret to inform you that I'm sick. boo. I've been trying to avoid admitting it for the past couple of days, but one day I just woke up congested. That's just the best. Sadly, I don't have insurance right now, due to the fact that I'm not a "full time student" for a semester. So that hinders my ability to just hop on over to the doc's and make sure it's not a sinus infection. Lovely. Looks like I'll keep downing sudafed, water, soup, tea, and zicam for now. Maybe you could throw my sinuses into your prayer list too. Hey, thanks.
fighting my way to sleep until next time...

Athens

So today is my friend Barbara's 21st birthday, and last night, her boyfriend Jeff planned a surprise party with all her friends at his house since she had her party already planned for this evening. I made the trip down to Athens last night even given the gas scare, and decorated Jeff's living room before everyone came over. The best part is Barb called while I was at Jeff's to make sure I was coming into town today in time for dinner and salsa dancing. Little did she know I was already in athens waiting to surprise her. So being the amazingly sneaky person that I am, I casually asked what her plans were for the evening, made up excuses for what I was doing and when I would arrive today, etc. Needless to say, everyone showed up, and we scared the crap out of her. haha. She had no idea. Being as I have been scared half to death in a similar fashion during the "Fare Weller by Helen Marie McBride" Party, I could totally relate to her horrified expression caught on camera. Needless to say, it was still just as funny. After that, we decorated her car, and went from room to room trying on dresses for this evening. We're going to dinner at this organic restaraunt, to the Wesley meeting, and then salsa dancing at "The Library" (a very cleverly named club downtown.) I'm pretty excited. :)
And Barbara loved the scarf I made her, so all is well.
My only worry for the week is making sure I have enough gas, and finding a way to get to the football game friday after work. I'm working thurs, fri, and sat nights... so i'll have a LITTLE more money in my pocket.
until next time...