lucky

When I think about my life, I have to acknowledge the fact that I've been extremely lucky. Even though I've moved all over the place, I've still maintained life long friendships and made many new ones. Even though my family's never had an exorbitant amount of money, they always found a way to put presents under the tree and allow us to live more comfortably than some. Even though I made a D in math my senior year and never finished my foreign language requirement (which would have permitted me from going to a california state school), I was blessed with the opportunity to go to a private Christian university for 1 1/2 years. Even though I've never been in a relationship, I've been lucky enough to never have had my heart broken. Even though several people close to me have died, I've never lost a direct member of my family. The list goes on and on. I know so many people who have experienced pain that I might not ever know, and I feel so blessed by that fact... but it also makes me feel guilty that I don't do more with my time. Since I moved back to Georgia, I've accomplished very little. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm not in school right now, and I didn't have my car here for a month, but there's still so much more I could do. I'm very picky about where I work, and I could probably be working at Wal-Mart right now, but instead, I'm still looking for one that's "good enough" for me. There's something very wrong with that point of view. Thankfully, I had a job interview today, and I have two more later this week... so hopefully I'll be back to being happily busy soon. It will be good for me to get back on a normal schedule. These days I've become pretty nocturnal. The other thing that's made me so uneasy is a guy. I've known him for half of my life, and I didn't appreciate him before... but now, I'm being payed back by feeling restless all the time. I've had him on such a high pedestal for so long, that it's impossible not to like him since I see him so often. We have so much in common, and I feel like we could talk for hours. I love being the cause of the smile on his face, and I love when his music brings a smile to mine. If only I could get the nerve up to see where he stands.
Restless until next time...